Remember when we were kids and our parents would mutter about friends who had the nerve to talk politics at a party?  That was the height of boorishness back then.  Anyone with five cents worth of manners knew that you didn’t talk politics—or religion—at a social gathering.  Whatever happened to that level of social awareness?

Now we are bombarded with opinions from friends, co-workers, family members, total strangers outside the supermarket—even phone-dialing robots.  It’s no wonder so many are so weary of the political environment.  It’s everywhere. It’s unceasing. And it has little to do with what you personally choose to believe.

We have devolved on this psychologically.  The “be nice” of the “50’s and 60’s” may have been for the wrong reasons—not rocking the boat, fitting in, whatever–but it was on target in terms of an intelligent way to deal with the diversity of opinion that exists simply because we are…well…a diverse population.

It is the mark of a socially un-evolved person to assume that everyone thinks just like you.  Yet that is exactly what’s going on now. If a person is your friend—or a member of your family—then of course they are going to agree with what you think about “the other side.”  It’s “us” and “them.” We’ve lost our respect for the many nuances that make up individual opinions.

This attitude is just plain stunted.  How do you refine an opinion if you never go beyond hearing what people who agree with your current opinion have to say?  How do you become more educated about issues if you just buy in on a bunch of “other bashing” and call it good?

It doesn’t make any difference whether you are a citizen of the United States or a small, new, developing country.  Deciding another faction is wrong and that you need to fight diverts the energy of both groups from the common good.

Why are we doing it this way?

Media needs  Let’s face it.  A lot of what we decide to get worked up about is a function of so many media outlets needing something to talk about.  Novelists and screenwriters are taught to create “conflict on every page” because conflict makes for a more compelling story.  News channels and talk shows can’t (or at least should not) just make stuff up to be entertaining.  Instead, they fan tiny embers of disagreement into walls of flame for the sake of ratings (which drive advertising rates which in turn drive profits).

Easy mass message options  Before the Internet, if you wanted to rant, you needed to either walk to a busy street corner and try to get people to listen or write something and try to get it published—which often took years if it ever happened at all.  Now, every little thing that irritates you can be communicated to thousands in less than a minute.  When it took more effort, we were more selective about our “causes.”  Now, the wrong flowers planted in a roundabout are cause for an Internet campaign.  When so much energy is spent ranting about what’s wrong, there’s not much left to get things to go right.  So instead of solutions, we just keep generating “problems.”  That’s a lot easier to do, but socially we’re creating a helluva mess.

Weakened interpersonal skills  Talking with your thumbs removes a lot of the cues for good communication–no body language to read, no intonation to assess, no facial expressions to interpret.  Just words on a screen.  The ability to sense what a person really means is significantly diminished as a result.

So instead of dialogues—where you exchange ideas–we have “duologues”–where two people take turns talking but neither takes in information from the other.   Rather than sharpening both sets of opinions by carving away the fluff and nonsense, each person wraps his/her opinion in more and more layers of insulation.

So what’s a smart person to do?

Well, let’s start by not being willing to participate in these non-conversations.  We can hang up on robocalls, delete politically incendiary e-mail forwards without reading them, and give ourselves balanced news coverage in the variety of sources we use.

We need a total change of mindset: a calm, simple “No thank you” to every version of political diatribe.  Word fighting doesn’t serve any of us and a steady diet of it really is bad for your health. (It’s a horrendous source of stress.)

This article originally appeared in the May 2012 edition of Barbara Morris’s online newsletter, Put Old on Hold.

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Mary Lloyd is a speaker and consultant and author of Supercharged Retirement:  Ditch the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love.  She has also recently released an e-book on Kindle titled 39 Bites of Wisdom:  Little Lessons on Getting Life Right.  For more, see her website http://www.mining-silver.com

Leaving work behind and just “doing what I want” is a powerful dream. But there’s more to what we do for a living than we typically see while we are at it full time and full throttle. A recent article by Trevor Pryce highlights this well. Pryce is a former defensive lineman for the New York Jets. After 14 years of going at it for the sake of football, he hung it up after this  year’s Super Bowl.

Lucky for us, one of the things Pryce has been developing in those six months of every football off-season is his skill as a writer.

True, most of us don’t get to retire at 36. Most of us aren’t part of the NFL’s version of a retirement program. Most of us aren’t going to be letting go of getting beaten and bruised every Sunday from mid-summer to mid-winter. But what he says about “getting used to retirement” is valid in many contexts.

Check out his article.

A mindset that sees what needs to be fixed rather than what’s already great has many uses. But is it a good way to live?

At the moment, I am in the process of selling my house. No mortgage issues.  No corporate move that requires me to be in a new city by a certain date.  It’s just time for me to move on to “the next thing.”

Selling a house is a daunting challenge right now and one I would not consider doing without a realtor–or five.  I did a bit of a dress rehearsal of this project late last fall with a realtor who’s been giving me advice on what to update and what not to worry about for five years.  Life intervened, and I had to suspend the listing while I dealt with other things.

Then when I was ready to get back into it, she decided to retire.  So I had to find a new realtor.   The market is hard to figure these days and those who are still in the business of selling real estate have been culled down to the ones who are serious about it as a job.  But there’s still a lot of variety in what they have to say.  I knew I needed to talk to more than one to make a good decision.

I tend to prefer personal recommendations in this kind of situation so I asked a business friend if she knew a good realtor.  Of course she did; she even provided an e-mail introduction.  I also have  a neighbor who’s a realtor so I decided I would talk to him as well.  When I went online, I discovered a website that gives your name to three realtors who are currently effective in selling real estate in your area and your price range.  They all contacted me.   So I ended up talking with five different realtors.

And that’s where the “what’s wrong” versus “what’s right” dichotomy came into focus.

They were all pretty much in the same ballpark regarding the recommended listing price.  But they fell into two distinct camps in terms of how they saw the house.  With two of them, the focus was on the “problems.”  One suggested the roof might need to be replaced soon.  (I had a roofer look at it and he said it was fine.)  One said the house was dark and recommended that I get rid of at least 20% of the oak furniture.  (This seemed a bit odd to me since the realtor I used last fall was pleased with how much light the house has.)

The other camp was excited about what was right.  Those realtors saw the updates. They saw how great the gardens look.  They were excited about everything from two closets in the master bedroom to a corner window in the kitchen.

Much as “what’s right?” and “what’s wrong?” do contain the words “right” and “wrong” I’m not trying to suggest that there’s only one way to sell real estate effectively.  Pointing out problems before someone else does later in the process is a service.  It does tell the seller that you will help them see things they need to see.  Being excited about a house is contagious, so there are all sorts of pluses in that, too.

The thing that struck me about this is not “what’s the best way to sell real estate?”  The lesson I got out of this was more personal.  Do I want to live every day looking for what I need to fix next?  Or do I want to live everyday excited about what’s already good in my life?

I’ve been “working on” this house since I moved in eight years ago.  At first, it was creating beautiful outside spaces.  More recently, I’ve replaced all the carpeting, updated the bathrooms and totally renovated the kitchen–plus replacing the water heater and putting in a high efficiency gas furnace along the way.  The painters just finished redoing the exterior.  I have done a lot to deal with the “what’s wrong” of this property.  I could keep doing that forever, even though everyone who visits tells me how great it looks.

What this collection of real estate professionals helped me see is that it’s time for me to go back to looking at the good stuff that’s already there.   Albert Einstein put it well: “There are two ways to live your life.  One is as thought nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

And yes, I went with a realtor who got excited about what’s the house has to offer.  Stay tuned.

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Mary Lloyd is a speaker and consultant and author of Supercharged Retirement:  Ditch the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love.  She also recently released 39 Bites of Wisdom: Little Lessons in Getting Life Right as an e-book (Kindle).  For more, see her website.

Retire or keep working? Here are links to two recent radio interviews about both options. 

The first was done March 3 with Joe Anderson and “Big Al” Clopine for Your Money, Your Wealth  on KFAB in San Diego adn is about what to do when you do retire.  (Click on the first of the three links listed for March 3.)  Mary Lloyd took part in the first half of that hour.  To hear that interview…

The second was done March 27 with Mike Lonergan on KLAY in connection with an AARP event title ReCareering at 50+ in the Pacific Northwest.  To hear that interview…

It’s very easy to let life pass by while you are waiting for the “good stuff. “ A good life isn’t about winning the Powerball jackpot. It’s about noticing all the little pluses that happen every day.

Here—with absolutely no deference to David Letterman’s top 10 lists—are ten ways to miss out on your own life:

1. I will be happy when….
The current focus on goals might be good for getting you motivated to achieve certain, specific things, but it has one big downside—you forget to savor what you already have because of what you’re working toward. Even worse is to just wish for things without taking any action whatsoever. If you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen—and you miss the magic in today in the meantime. If you’re spending your todays marking time for your tomorrows, you’re squandering your life.

2. Being so busy you don’t realize what you are doing.
There are times when life is on fast forward and just getting everything done is a gargantuan challenge. Try to minimize those times. When you can’t, at least take a few seconds to notice what you’re doing every once in a while.

3. Erasing yourself.
Even if your life is crazy busy, there are ways to be who you are at the same time. Sing along to a favorite song on the radio or savor the sunset as you drive home from work (finally).

4. Not spending time on what you want.
Okay, you don’t have time to write that novel this year. Write something. Or maybe you want to learn to play tennis but don’t have time (or maybe money) for lessons. Start by learning all you can from a book. The key isn’t spending a lot of time at it; it’s spending some time at it—every day.

5. Forgetting the importance of what you’re doing.
When your days are taken up with a loved one’s doctors’ appointments or the demands of a newborn, it can start to feel like slavery. Remind yourself of what made you commit to doing what you are doing.

6. Obsessing about what other people are doing—or not doing.
Focusing on the wrongness of other people’s behavior is an incredible waste of time, energy, and life. Focus on what you can do to make your own life work well instead. (And that task is not something like “Get Mom to stop doing… whatever.”)

7. Waiting for someone else to do it for you.
“My life will work when my husband gives me better self-esteem by paying attention to me.” Even if he wanted to, dishing up self-esteem for someone else is impossible. You get self esteem by thinking better of yourself, not by having someone else build you up. Most of what we need in life is up to us to find or create. Delegating any of it to someone else instead if getting on with it yourself is futile.

8. Not accepting what is.
Life doesn’t come prepackaged in the flavor you prefer. Learn to get the most out of whatever is happening. That starts with accepting what is actually going on.

9. Worrying about the “small stuff.”
Expecting every little thing to be the way you think it should be is just a naïve attempt at unattainable control. Not everything is going to go right. To live happy now, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”

10. Assuming that once you retire, none of this matters.
In reality, everything matters more once you retire. It’s not the end, it’s the beginning. But it’s up to you to make something of it. Life is not over when you stop working. It’s different. Figure out the best version for you. Too often, we walk into retirement thinking there’s nothing left but puttering. What an incredible waste of 20 to 30 years.

Life is short. Notice it. Savor it. Live every moment.

This article originally appeared in the April 2012 edition of Barbara Morris’s online newsletter  Put Old on Hold.

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Mary Lloyd is a speaker and consultant and author of Supercharged Retirement: Ditch the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love. She also recently released an e-book 39 Bites of Wisdom: Little Lessons on Getting Life Right is available on Kindle. For more, please see her website.

Stress is a sneaky thief. It robs you of the joy of this moment and creates an amazing array of havoc physically.  Quite often though, we blame something else instead of seeing that old bogeyman Stress as the culprit.

Stress–the anxious state that results from the difference between what is happening and what you think should be happening.  Yep.  Stress is a control issue.

Right now, I’m stressed.  I should be embarrassed to admit that–for decades, I have been proclaiming “Stress is an inside job.  You give it to  yourself.”   Stress is something you give yourself.  And usually,  you don’t realize you are doing it.

There are some situations that are classic set-ups for stress.  A new baby.  Caregiving for a loved one who’s coping with illness.  An unrealistic load at work.   We notice those even if we don’t do anything to deal with the stress.

But you can create a stressful situation about just about anything.  I come from a family with seven kids.  At one point, there were four cars that needed to get out of the driveway to get to work or a college class at various times of the day and night.  This was particularly unnerving to one of my sisters, who seemed to always end up being the one most impossibly parked in when she had to get to work.  We were taught early on that it was up to you to deal with whatever was bugging you.  So every night she would gather three sets of car keys and go out and rearrange who was parked where in the driveway.  End of her stress.  Wish it was that simple all the time.

One of the worst sources of stress is expectations of other people.  So-and-so should be more prompt.  Or more considerate.  Or less inclined to leave a mess in the sink after brushing his teeth.  These are the situations where getting something external to change is less likely.  People don’t change just because you don’t like what they are doing.  (The exception to this is if you are supervising people in a work setting.  There, you have a right and responsibility to get them to do the things they are getting paid to do.) 

Sometimes, just mentioning that the behavior is a problem does have exhilarating results.  So it’s worth trying.  But if the needed change doesn’t happen immediately, waiting for it forever is a fool’s assignment.  Your options are either to accept whatever behavior you’re dealing with or end the relationship.  And in some cases (difficult parents, children, or bosses come to mind) ending the relationship isn’t much of an option.  So if  you want to not be stressed, get over the idea that so-and-so should be doing such-and-such.  Being honest with yourself about it being a source of stress makes that easier to do.  But it’s not “I’m stressed because my boss is a jerk.”  It’s “I’m stressed because my boss is a jerk and I’m letting it get to me.”

But how do you know when you’re stressed?  Are you tired?  Feeling worn out?  Irritable?  All those things are signs of stress.  Plus there are a whole host of physical problems that feed on stress–everything from hypertension to gastric problems are exacerbated by stress.  Mostly though, it’s a feeling that you are not in control and that you need to be.

When there’s not enough time in the day, the easiest things to cut out are the things you do for yourself.  Switch to less time-consuming options instead of eliminating self care.   Maybe you don’t have time to get a massage right now.  But you can do some deep breathing while waiting for a stoplight to turn or take a “three minute vacation” by imagining you’re somewhere personally pleasant when you have–literally–three minutes of down time.

For me right now, the stress has been coming from unpredictability.  No matter what I decide I’m going to do with a day it’s never what actually happens–and not because something I wanted to do more came along.   Oh, poor me.   But my highest priority right now is caregiving and that, plain and simple, is an impossibly unpredictable set of responsibilities.  To right myself, I needed to redefine what was “supposed to be happening.”  It’s not what I put on my “to do” list the night before.  It’s whatever we need to do to help my loved one heal.

Oh yeah.  How did I finally accept that I was stressed?  I put a load of laundry I had not yet washed in the dryer.  Stress makes you do really dumb things.

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Mary Lloyd is a speaker and consultant and author of Supercharged Retirement:  Cith the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love.  She’s also just released an e-book on Kindle title 39 Bites fo Wisdom: Little Lessons on Getting Life Right.  For more, see her website.

One of the big challenges of retirement is figuring out how to be married all day every day–or finding a different alternative that works for both of you.  Getting those decisions right is sort of like a final exam in something many of us have been tested on–more or less–for decades. And that’s finding the right balance between “together” and “apart.”

At first the scales tip one way. The romance of new love makes most of us yearn to be inseparable.  Just parting to get through the workday, school day or other separate demands seems like cruel punishment.   Then, as you stay together for a while, that “time without” becomes a more easily endured aspect of life.  Life goes along smoothly with those two separate grooves because there are good reasons for them–work, kids, ailing parents who need our time, etc.   Eventually, especially when the “being alone” is because of something a partner needs time to do, many of us  begin to savor and look forward to solo time both for the serenity it offers and the self-attention it allows. 

And that’s about the point that you start thinking about retirement

What then?  Are you still going to have those separate grooves or are you expecting a magical return to that heady “I can’t live without you right by my side” fervor of young love?  If you aren’t talking about that with your partner, you might be in for a rude awakening when the time comes to actually step into that new version of life.   It’s not likely you’re in exactly the same place on this.

Waiting until retirement looms to start this discussion isn’t wise either.  To get this part of “a relationship” right, you need to be very clear about three things long before it’s time to retire:

How much solo time do you need?  The first step of having a good relationship with another person is having a good relationship with yourself.  What do you like about doing things on your own?  What needs does  that kind of time meet for you?  We are all different and what works for me won’t necessarily even be in the same ballpark as what works for you.   So know what works for you.

A primary reason for that career -and the related “apart” time–is a paycheck.  Retirement means the funds come from somewhere else.  But your work is usually a source of satisfaction that goes beyond the financial.  If you can’t replicate those satisfiers with things your partner/spouse/signficant other is able or interested in doing, you are probably going to need significant time without him/her after you retire to meet those needs. 

How much “not-together” time is ideal for your partner?  The other half of your duet needs to answer that same question.  One of the most dangerous assumptions a working spouse can make is that the non-working spouse is just waiting for the day when you’ll be home all the time.  According to Miriam Goodman in Too Much Togetherness, this is a major cause of couple trouble once the working spouse retires.    Whether there’s been a paycheck involved or not, each of you has a life.  Much of it is lived separately.  Figuring out how to spend more time together is a worthy goal, but being joined at the hip is probably not (unless you are in a sack race).

Figuring out what you need yourself is hard.  Figuring out what your partner needs is harder.  Both involve soul seaching and personal exploration–which can be really fun.   But then there’s the communication phase and that takes a skill most of us think we have but don’t. 

How do we get what we each need and still enjoy time together?  The vast majority of us are not good communicators, especially in our primary relationships.  We rely on assumptions that we don’t check regularly and expect the other person to “just know.”  When we do talk, it’s about everyday drivel like garbage schedules and what to have for dinner.  This is a different conversation.

To do this well, you need to joint problem solve to figure out the best way for each of you to have the alone time you need.  A big piece of the challenge is to be honest about needs, too.  If your sweetie assumes she/he can come along and you really need the time on your own, you’re either going to have to admit it or waste time and emotion resenting the tag-along later.   

Being part of a couple and yet complete on your own is not unique to retirement.  But when you get that far, you’ve reached the championship game and the stakes are higher.  Once  you give up work, your primary relationship tends to become even more important.  Work on those balance issues all along.

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Mary Lloyd is a speaker and consultant and author of Supercharged Retirement:  Ditch the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love.  She also recently released an e-book 39 Bites of Wisdom: Little Lessons in Getting Life Right which is available through Amazon.  For more, see her website.

Sometimes, what you know surprises you. And sometimes what’s going on in a field in which you’re involved is worth talking about.  I just realized that’s true with me and publishing.  Gayle Gross has championed the cause of new writers by offering an innovative approach to “getting your writing out there” using a process called  10 Day Book Club.    Both writers and readers can get a lot out of being involved with what she’s doing.

I agreed to blog for her about what I’ve learned about getting published these days.  There are two consecutive posts.  The first is about getting published.  The second is about how to get the book to sell once you do publish it.  If you have any thoughts of writing anything that you want other people to read, it’s a good primer.  

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Mary Lloyd is a speaker, consultant, and author of Supercharged Retirement:  Ditch the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love.  She owns Mining Silver LLC and its publishing arm, Hankfritz Press.

Society’s script for our 60′s says we walk off into the sunset to spend the “Golden Years” doing whatever we want.  But the checkbook—or the investment account –may be saying “not so fast.”  What do you do instead?  Trudging along doing what you’re already doing is not your only option.

According to Tom Lauricella in Wall Street Journal Sunday, almost a third of American men and women ages of 65 and 69 were still in the workforce in 2011.  Of those 70 to 74, almost 20% were still working.  This isn’t just a sour economy.  Many of these people simply prefer to include paid work as part of their lives.  More and more studies are confirming that people who remain in the work force are physically healthier, less likely to experience early cognitive decline, and have a stronger sense of well-being.  Work is good stuff for most of us.  But it’s got to be work we love.

If you need or want to keep earning money as you age, take a look at your options, your priorities, and your preferences.  Use that information to create a life that includes paid work, but that’s still an authentic balance of what you really care about.

Find work that’s your life calling.  Work at this stage of life is best done for the meaning it holds rather than the paycheck it provides.  Even if you do need the money, find something you believe in if you want to be happy (also healthy).  Doing work you‘re passionate about makes the time you spend at work part of your overall “Good Life” rather than just the means of funding it.

Find work that’s flexible.  When you are good at what you do or are willing to do something no one else wants to, you can often move toward more of a say in when you work and when you don’t.  The first step in getting to this nirvana is getting really good at what you do—which is a lot easier if you love what you do.  The second is knowing what kind of flexibility is important to you.  Is it the freedom to be able to take time during work hours watch your grandson compete in high school debate?  Or is it the flexibility to live where it’s warm in the winter and where it’s cool in the summer?

Sometimes, you don’t even need to change companies to find this.  (Home Depot and CVS were already hiring cold climate employees to work at warm climate stores where they wintered five years ago.) 

Another version of flexibility comes from using technology. If you’re available to answer client questions via smart phone or can generate a bid with a laptop and wifi, where you are physically when you do it isn’t an issue.  Instead of shunning new technology, learn to use it to claim greater freedom in how you work. 

Combine several small efforts to make the amount of money you need.  We tend to think in the singular about earning a living.  One job.  One paycheck.  In the traditional work force, this is true (at least for now).  But when you want to give your life better balance, combining two or three choice part-time jobs may make more sense.

I have a friend who’s a very convincing Santa.  Every year he returns to the warm climate of his career years to be a mall Santa for an employer delighted with his return.  For the rest of the year, he parlays his teaching experience into paid gigs as a tour guide for people eager to see the wonders of the western US.

Your combination will be unique to you, of course.  Let’s say you love quilting and also love dogs.  You could do custom quilting or teach quilting classes and also run a dog walking business.  Quilting works your mind and your fine motor skills.  Being responsible for those dogs keeps you fit—and feeling that unconditional love animals offer.  And you put money in the bank from both pleasures.

Anything is possible once you step into this foreign terrain called “life after 60.”  But don’t wait until you’re on that stretch of road to figure out where you want to go then.  You have to know what you love and have a pretty good idea of what kind of lifestyle is likely to work best for you if you want to thrive after 60—whether you retire or keep working.

Now’s the time to get started on that custom-designed life.

This article originally appeared in the March 2012 edition of Barbara Morris’s online newsletter Put Old On Hold.

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Mary Lloyd is a speaker and consultant and author of Supercharged Retirement:  Ditch the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love.  Her recently released e-book 39 Bites of Wisdom:  Little Lessons on Getting Life Right is currently available on Kindle.  For more, please see her website.

When things go wrong, it’s easy to assume there’s something worse going on than is actually the case. I learned this in my kitchen recently.

A week ago, my sweetie mentioned that the toaster was broken.  I thought maybe he’d just not had it completely plugged in when he discovered this, so I checked it myself.  (I am more familiar with this particular toaster.)  He was sort of right.  The toaster didn’t work when I plugged it in either. 

Later that same day, I realized the cordless phone in my office wasn’t working.  The main phone of  that set is in the kitchen, so I checked that next.  It didn’t work either.  This duet had been part of the family for a while, so I assumed the main one had died of natural causes and taken the auxillary with it. 

I got tired of running upstairs to the bedroom to answer the phone before I got tired of making toast in the oven–I replaced the phones first.  (Note:  this was the more complicated of the two malfunctions to remedy.  Duh.)  I installed the batteries, set up both phones, plugged them in, and left them to charge for the night.  The problem would be history in the morning, right?

Nope.  The  phone still didn’t work.

That’s when I remembered that the outlet where we use the toaster and the outlet where the main phone is plugged in are on the same circuit.  I got the toaster out of the trash (I know–gross) and tested it on a different circuit.  Back in the toast business! 

I wrote myself a note to call the handyman about fixing the circuit.    didn’t want to bother him on the weekend so we did without that circuit, which we use a lot, for two more days.  But at least we could make toast…

When I spoke with my ever so practical handyman, this little equioment failure project took an important turn in the right direction.  He asked if I’d checked GFI outlet that’s on that circuit.  “Of course,” I replied.  “The green light isn’t lit.”

“But did you try to do a reset on it?”

Oops.   Ah…duh….. 

I didn’t need a new toaster.  I didn’t need new phones.  I didn’t need to repair the wiring in my house.  I just needed to reset the GFI outlet.  I could do that myself in literally ten seconds and did while I finished the conversation with the handyman.

Maybe this kind of behavior is why we go to the doctor so often.  We assume the worst rather than looking at easier-to-remedy scenarios.  A cold becomes “Maybe I’m coming down with pneumonia.”  And that fatigue?  Well, it could be tuberculosis or blocked arteries or whatever you’re imagining.  But it could be that you’re not drinking enough water.

The worst part of making this mistake in a medical situation  is that once you go to the doctor, it’s highly likely they’re going to collude with you and spend huge amounts of time, money, and resources looking for that complicated possibility.  Even if all that’s needed is a simple lifestyle change.  Or just three more days to get over that cold. 

Most of the time, something much simpler is probably going on.  But professional medicine these days is not geared to simple solutions.  There’s so much technology and so many drugs to bring to bear that the non-technical options might not even been on the radar in many cases.

We need to do this part for ourselves as a baseline effort.  Really think about what simple things might be causing the problem, whether it’s medical or otherwise.  Seeing if the small things over which you have total control can make a difference rather than immediately assuming it’s a major problem can make your life a who lot smoother.

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Mary Lloyd is a speaker and consultant and author of Supercharged Retirement:  Ditch the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love.  Her new e-book 39 Bites of Wisdom:  Little Lessons on Getting Life Right is avilable on Kindle.  For more, see her website.